This is going to be the first part of a series, ‘Blogging Backwards’, that collects excerpts from outdated blog entries, livejournals, concert reviews, photos, and various musings into something that hopefully paints a coherent picture of my stance on several subjects.
It is also a way for me to continue blogging while suffering through a thoroughly annoying hormone deficiency without having to dredge up new materal from my diseased bones. I’m sick and lazy; sue me.
I thought I’d start with a topic that is inescapable and inherently universal. [Music, that is.]
Ever since Silverchair’s new video was posted on the opening myspace page, I’ve been makng the mistake of visiting periodically and reading comments like ‘OMG THIS SUCKS BRING BACK FROGSTOMP’.
Are you fucking kidding me? Who the hell ARE these mongoloids? Sorry if it’s not RIFFY enough for your testosterone-drenched personality, but they actually write songs now, assholes. I can’t believe such a brilliant song is being cluttered up with comments about how Daniel’s eye makeup makes him a ‘fag’.
The IQ level is pathetic in these degenerates. I only had the energy to post one exasperated sentence.
—September 2, 2007, on the general population’s musical intelligence
Listing songs in order for a review is like writing down the ingredients for a cake and expecting people to taste it. Every second was embellished, concocted, planned out in ways that don’t compute until you see them for yourself. A flamenco guitar vs. tap-danced Spanish dancing duel? Robot moves with extensive vocal sound effects? Band members doing the mashed potato and backing up Myv with jazz hands? An extended DJ remix interlude that temporarily transformed the Avalon into a dance club?
–May 20, 2008, at the Avalon for Miyavi
Free Dominguez is beyond sexy, not because of a dress, but because she can sing the roof off of a stone church.
–September 23, 2008, at the Roxy for kidneythieves
There were over two thousand of us in the audience, most of whom had waited in line for at least six hours, and I can’t possibly explain the excitement when G.D.S. started playing. The crowd went fucking wild. We lost our voices. We wailed the same words. We kept screaming things in Japanese we didn’t understand. It didn’t matter. Everyone there spoke the same language.
—February 25, 2007, at the Wiltern for Dir en grey
Who needs words? Non-native Japanese speakers need not worry. The transition from metal frenzy to falsetto chorus is a salad of sound more explicit than any swear word.
–March 18, 2008, on D’espairsRay’s ‘Angeldust’
Standing in line for three hours was worth it if only to see Miyavi drive into the venue and wave at us like the bloody Queen of England, while teenagers screamed their heads off and chased him down the street with cameras. I felt like a Beatles fan at the JFK airport in 1964.
—May 26, 2007, at J-rock Revolution
And the song ended, and I knew what was coming as Miyavi said ‘YOSHIKI!’ and there was dramatic stage lighting and then there he was, his adorable geeky beautiful self, speaking shyly into the microphone like an elementary school kid. ‘Gackt couldn’t be here,’ he said, but it didn’t matter. I think if Gackt had shown up the place would have gone up in flames.
As it was, I wanted to cry. I had my hands over my mouth the whole time in shocked euphoria. The whole crowd, all 2,500 of us, shouted ‘THANK YOU!’ at the top of our lungs.
I started blowing him kisses; I couldn’t help it.
–May 26, 2007, at J-rock Revolution
Silverchair were the first band I ever liked for myself. The first band that drove me to search out things that weren’t on the radio. They’re one of the only connections I have to my fifteen year old self. It’s comfortable to have that consistency, like three best friends from elementary school.
–November 24, 2007
I needed to feel young again.
–September 29, 2009, at the Avalon for Manic Street Preachers
At one point near the end of the set, I heard a guy behind me yell ‘Fuck you!’ at the band [D’espairsRay], and I turned around, seething, expected to see some big muscley mosh pit guy.
It was two fifteen year old kids with braces. I was about a foot taller than both of them.
I grinned and said, ‘Next person who says that gets a fist in the face.’
They smiled nervously and shut the hell up. Sometimes it pays to be an old fart.
–April 11, 2008, at Taste of Chaos
There is heart in idolatry. Rockstar characters write themselves. So ubiquitous, and yet so completely unavailable to everyone.
–July 9, 2009
Upon first seeing the members of Versailles prance onto the stage in all their gothic Victorian glory, a few audience members [who had surely tagged along for the local opening band] couldn’t contain their laughter. However, this quickly died down as soon as the onslaught of ‘Love from a Dead Orchestra’ blew their hair back like something out of a Looney Tunes episode.
The lesson: just because they move their hands like aristocrats and wear more makeup than your church-hopping grandmother doesn’t mean they can’t make most metal bands look like pansies.
–June 4, 2008, at the Knitting Factory for Versailles
And then… Punk Bunny. Following a pair of identical twin rappers called Elephant, a group of spandex-clad man-things took to the stage, and Ron and I kept exclaiming the same thing: Never. Seen. Anything. Like. This.
They were like some raunchy, transgendered, neon-colored version of the Village People, with a hint of Sex Pistols snark and lyrics borrowed from your local XXX video store. There is nothing quite like watching a quartet of raging queens perform ridiculous choreography while roaring the words to an original song called ‘Glory Hole’. I can’t even begin to describe their sound or performance – the main singer growled like a death metal vocalist over electro-beats while prancing around in a revealing Richard Simmons-like exercise outfit, and his backup band did knee-bends in time to lyrics about being a ‘Nineties Tranny’. It blew my fucking mind.
-October 14, 2009, at the Viper Room
Anyone who writes a song about having sex with Jesus deserves to be honored.
—May 2, 2006, on hide memorial day
Everyone was standing, the explosion of guitar was phenomenal (great job, band people!) and unsuspecting families were assailed by Adam’s wail, as well as his tendency to gyrate, grope himself, and molest the microphone stand – instantly negating anything that made the show ‘family-oriented’ and simultaneously impregnating everyone within a three-mile radius (men included).
—July 17, 2009, at American Idols Live!
The whole vibe was weightless, like a fantasy. Yet another story come to life.
–November 21, 2010, in Las Vegas for Kris Allen
It was thirsting for something to fill it all in. For a song to begin.
For a boy to launch himself into the light and dye it black and blue with his beauty.
–from The Last Song, written July 2001-2002